A divorce can feel like the end of the world, and in a sense, it is an end. However, it is a necessary ending that in the long run will be beneficial to you, even if that is difficult to perceive at first. You were sharing your life with someone — someone you thought you would share your life with forever — but in the end, it was not meant to be. While divorces are often devastating experiences, they are also a chance to reclaim yourself, your life, passions and talents. You can focus on yourself and reclaim who you are, independent of anyone else.

When you feel as though you are truly yourself again – that strong, independent and amazing individual – go with confidence out into the dating world once again. While you might have thought your prior partner was ‘the One’, remember that every person in the world has more than one right person. You are entitled to find that person worthy of your love and attention, even (and especially) as a divorcee. It is of the utmost importance, though, to ensure you are really ready to venture back into dating before that happens.

Learn from the past...

What aspects of your relationship led to its dissolution? Take time to reflect on what went wrong, but make sure you don’t let yourself dwell on it. This is an important step, though, because awareness of what went wrong will keep you from falling into a relationship with similar faults or issues. Just remember it is impossible that everything is ever your fault. Think objectively, as hard as it may be, about your past relationship.

But put the past behind you...

Know what you’ve learned from your past relationship, but let it go at the same time. It is impossible to start a new relationship if you are still mourning or pining over the past. This will take time, energy and intensive introspection, but you will get through it. In the end, you will come out prepared to share your life and love with a new person.

Develop a positive outlook...

This goes for your self-image, as well as your perspective on dating and love. Connect with close friends and loved ones who know you well, and take up new hobbies that have always intrigued you, or ones you loved but had stopped for whatever reason. This will help bring you back to a positive place. Positivity generates positivity, too, and you owe it to yourself to get to a happy, productive mindset.

Decide you are ready...

Your friends can try to set you up with as many people as they want, but unless you personally decide and recognise you are ready, it is impossible for you to really start a new relationship. Take however long you need to get back to yourself and regain your positivity first. Right after a divorce, you might feel like you will never get to that place, but countless people have found prosperous, loving relationships after a divorce. Trust you will get there, too.

Once you are back and dating, keep in mind that the most important aspect to consider with a potential dating partner is compatibility. This might have been something missing or overlooked in your previous relationships, but compatibility is what keeps relationships strong and lasting. You owe it to yourself!